Dear God,
I know I can tell you directly, but, as you know, it's more easy for me to write it then say it. Well, you know what I mean.
I'm so far from you, don't listen to what you trying to say, get angry with many things, do not involved you in many decision I made, become a hater, weak, life too sucks for me in last couple months or a year already, I think.
Do you still remember? When we talking all day, together seeing the sky, rain, trees, singing with them and admire for how beautiful they are. We both laughing at many grown ups, for what they do with their life. I always asked you many questions about them, about why they hurting each other, why they always get mad, but, you said I will know the answer one day.
Now, I become one of them. I get mad easily, cry easily, selfish, and so hard to breathe. I know the answer now. You told me to take care of this universe. Look what I've done, I broke it.
God, am I doing my life wrong? I made so many mistakes, hurt so many people, sometimes, I feel that I'm not useful for anyone, just breaking them, just nothing.
God, I'm tired. My heart already cracked, and it so hurt.
God, I know I haven't made my mind yet, I just wanna live as natural as I can. I just wanna see happiness in everything I meet. Or should I let all things go? So, I can be free. Universe will be free. No one else will get hurt. I will no longer be a barrier to someone happiness.
I miss the time when you hold me, wipe my tears, and tell me everything gonna be alright.
I just miss you.
I really miss you.
Love,
nurieen
