It's been a very long time since the last time I wrote, maybe because I'm too busy, or too afraid to write.
Most of people have some secret feeling, some people said it is insting, some people said it is the voice of God or universe. Whatever it is, I have it so often, but I prever not to hear it.
Why I avoid it? Because it is truly sucks, if you know what I mean. I knew when I did not passed the important test, I knew when all my effort is just a waste of time, I knew when a friend still couldn't move on with his feeling, I knew when one of my family member will die soon, even I knew if my brother couldn't escape from the death. I hate when I feel something or knew something, but no one will understand it. They just thought that I have a negative mind, always said to keep positive, and even feel that I don't trust them. I started believe what they said, maybe it was just on my mind. I even did something really bad to convinced myself that it was just my negative thought, but it always right. I don't wanna be rude, but thanks, I know exactly the differences beetwen both of it. And ofcourse it is not about trust issue.
Often, I became suddenly so sad for what I feel, and ofcourse I couldn't explain it, because it is too hard, too hurt and too risky to say. I only can stay positive, stay believe, but I am struggle in something that currently only God knows.
I have a really big dream, that one day, people will respect and genuinely care of each other, living in trust, love, and honest. We will always judge other people in a positive side.
So one day, people like me will be free. Life would be more simple, I can see many positive people, who express their love in a beautiful way, like in movies or in korean drama without fear of rejection, because they know they will be highly appreciate and have a true answer.
I have a dream, that you and me, also universe will live in a peaceful world.
Love,
nurieen
