-Experiencing Life to Understand The Human Nature-

Well, How do I start? hmm... I remember my old conversation with my little brother, not very clear, but it must be something like this:

Him :"Why are you so angry?"
Me : "I dunno. I just going crazy and want to punch anything. I can't control it. Can you?"
Him : "Me neither. But I punch myself rather than punch something else, so, nothing will hurt, just me. And I will think a thousand times to be angry cos' I know it will be so hurt."

When I was a kid, I can't control my anger, I will destroy anything, without any reason, just want to do it. But when he's gone, I swear I won't be angry or upset anymore, with any reason. It doesn't really work, But at least, when I can't hold it, I just cry, all day in my room, doing nothing, but not destroy anything, just running out.

Lately, I realize more about what he said over 15 years ago. You don't know something, without having experience on it. So, I decided, I want know more, then I must go through this life, Become part of it.

I was a very closed kid, I have my own world, have no friends at all, except my brothers, and almost have no feelings.

The first question on my mind is, why people have a friend? what for? Then, I decided to have a friend. I do what normal kid do, playing together with others. You know what? it was really hard for me, sharing a toy with others? come on, you have your own toy, why you must play with mine too? it's crazy little me, huh? LOL

Soon, although not very soon, I like to have a friend. Playing together, sharing a story, even mostly I just hearing their story, and doing something crazy together. It's fun.

Well, I know my progress is so slow. In this scope, I'm not a fast learner, pretty hard for me, but at least there's some improvement...LOL

Until now, I have learned about giving, having a best friend (the valuable one), sharing something, love, jealousy, respect others, hurt, broken heart (not so long ago, yeah, suprising, huh! LOL), embarassment, pride, down, happy, excitement and some more.

But, Until now, I don't really understand about angry and upset. Why people get upset? even angry? Maybe it's just because it doesn't match their own expectations, I dunno. What I know is, I get upset and angry mostly because my body or my mind or even my heart is tired and needs to be rest, but somehow it can't. So I get angry. Well, it's just one of mystery of life that I must learn.

Life is full of mystery, and it takes forever to understand them, but it doesn't matter, that's why life become interesting to me. xp



I believe, by having an experience on something, get into the proccess, You will understand more than you have asked.

Keep on playing guys, it will keep you away from stress of this life...LOL

Good luck with your life, my life, and our life.



Love,

Nurieen

Happy Birthday...

well, today is my birthday, and I'm telling you it's so awsome...LOL

One and even the only thing I love about birthday is so much positive energy for me. It reminds me to live my own life. With all wishes that given to me, make me realize that I'm not alone. I still have a strong reason to survive in this life. The reason is you, is them.

Thanks for all your wishes. I'm 23 now. well, not young anymore...LOL

Thanks for remind me that I still apart of the effort. ^_^

Good luck with my life, with your life.

Love,
nurieen

I know that I'm trully blessed...

Everyone has their own strength and weakness, mine is Others...

It's simple, as long as everyone in my life's happy, it will work just fine. Otherwise, if they are suffering, my life turns to be a mess. Lots of my friend told me that I am stupid. Just too stupid to be crushed. But for me, it doesn't matter to wait couple of hours, or take a bus alone just because the car already full, etc. As long as everyone is happy, that's worth it.

My biggest strength is doing thing for others. I just realize that everything I do is always work when I'm doing something for someone else. Otherwise, if I do it only for myself, for my own satisfaction, it seems didn't work well. My Final Project for example, at the first time, I did it for myself, for some kind of proovement that I capable with it. But, you know what happened, everything in a messed. Until one point, when I almost gave up, some people supported me. They never gave up on me. At that time, I tried to going on and finished it, not for me, but for them, only for them. Then, the result just too good to be true. The highest result that I could ever expected. That's because of them, not me.

So, it's easy to make me happy, just make your life full of happiness. Truly happiness, not a fake. Cos' somehow I know it, I can feel it. ^_^

Now I can move on with my life. Because I know something that make my life worth it. That is you. People around me, who lives with full of happiness.

You don't have to think much about me, don't worry, even when I'm in the worst condition or even no body stand beside me, I'll be fine, because I never by myself, I still have HIM. well, He always give someone beside me anyway. LOL

I'm truly blessed that I have you guys in my life, always have someone to accompany me through this life. Even with a different person. Allah always kind to me, He always gives what I need. Thank You. ^_^

I realize, nothing last forever, even my mom. Everyone comes and by. But, before someone leave, I will enjoy every single moment with him/her. Because I know, one day, in the future, when everything seems not right, when I want to stop and give up, I can remember some memories, wonderful memories that I have, about people who make my life so beautiful. Then, suddenly, it will be my biggest strength to move on.


so guys, if you feel your life is empty, here a little advice. Find your most strength and weakness. It helps you to realize that your life is worth it. well, at least, it works for me...LOL

Life is too beautiful to be wasted!

Good luck with your life, with my life...

Love,
nurieen