Warnet 4 jam!

Lagi di warnet nih, maen paket 4 jam, hmm.. ngapain aja yah???

Lagi dengerin lagu di fhrradio,
kata anak2 di BGF, christmas single Billy Gilman yang judulnya "I'll be home for christmas" sering diputerin. yah, mudah2an gw beruntung bisa dengerin sekaligus rekam tuh lagu.. sekarang lagi dengerin lagu "somebody' hero" nya Jamie O'neal, baru denger, soalnya lagu country, tapi enak juga koq... YAY Go Country...lol

Upload file buat website gw,
seneng deh internetnya ga lemot, jadinya cepet..hehehe..

ngunjungin BGF, (pastinya..lol)

nge-cek email,

download2 video,

ke forum indosiar, trus community.web.id,and forum 68,

cek cpanel website2 gw,

ke myspace, sama liat2 profile orang di friendster plus isi buletin,
jarang2 khan gw menjelajah di friendster...lol

download2 barang2 the sims2,

ngisi blog ini..lol

abis ini ngapain yah?? eh ada GUNBOUND...
duh ud lama bgt ga maen.. account gw msh idup ga ya??ud lebih dari 2 thn nich, kalo bkn baru males lagi deh.. jadi kangen..huhuhuhu...

No way! Account Suspanded, plus all update!!!...lol

Ya ampuun!!!kemaren, account gw yang di community.web.id, tepatnya semua accountnya disana di suspanded!!! Website2 gw beresiko hilang trus forum yg di bikin untuk 68 juga... GW panik nih, sempet mo nyari hostingan yang bayar aj ama temen gw! semakin menambah buruk mood gw belakangan ini, damn!

Tapi untungnya sekarang udah bisa lagi.. huh.. syukurlah..

Waduh,parah ya?? gw kyaknya udah kena Computer Syndrom Akut...huuhuheuhe..

ada temen gw minta ajarin bikin website, dan gw sambut dengan senah hati!! huhuhu.. akhirnya ada yang bisa diajak ngobrol tentang kompi.. setelah setahun ku pendam karna ga pada ngerti juga yang gw omongin..hahaha.. Sebenernya Ilmu gw juga cetek koq, secara gw khan otodidak, jadi blajarnya setengah2, tul tak?? Jadi jangan tertipu oleh gw yah...hahaha..tambah ga jelas deh..

O iya, gw baru ikut UKM loh, namanya PSMUT aka Paduan Suara MUT(tebak aja sendiri sisanya...lol). Tadinya gw mo gabung sama UKM yang berbau-bau komputer, tapi yg gw temuin cuma KJB, itu kayak wartawan gitu deh yang nyari berita bwat majalah kampus. gw daftar jadi layouter-nya. Gw semangat banget tuh, sampe pas selesai wawancara, eh gw kyaknya ga sregh yah?? tau knapa?? mungkin lingkungan juga kali ya??? lagian gw lagi sibuk sama lab, jadi pelatihannya bentrok sama waktu lab.
umm... Kambali ke PSMUT, Seniornya baik2 deh, seneng gw jadinya. Bisa menyalurkan hobi gw (tentunya selain komputer..hehehe..).Trus baru2 ini gw tau juga bahwa sebagian besar dari mereka gila(hahaha... asumsi gw doank koq, jgn diambil hati yah??..lol) . Setelah gw iseng2 maen friendster karna ga ad kerjaan(sebenernya banyak, tapi gw ngga adain, huehehe..), ternyata smakin menguatkan asumsi gw tsb. huhuhuhu...

seneng ternyata ada sejenis gw juga di kampus ini. Sejujurnya yah, setelah lepas SMA gw rada2 jaga sikap alias jaim n' hati2, soalnya kyaknya tmen2 gw tuh gampang tersinggung dan maen perasaan., walaupun qta sering becanda, tapi gw tetep aja jaga becandaai gw, takut kesinggung khan ntar ga enak deh...

--------intermezzo masa2 SMA : mode memory on----------------
dulu, KEbanyakan temen gw cowo, knapa? karna gw lebih suka maen ama cowo. Kalo becanda enak, ga ada yang sakit ati, malah pada menghina dengan lebih kejam lagi...lol Seru jadinya! Tapi tidak menutup kemungkinan dgn cewe2 gila yang khususnya tergabung dalam "DAHINAZZ" hahaha, Sumpah mereka itu gila semua, kalao nge-cengin orang jago cing! berbakat semua, dari lahir.... "DIMANA ADA KITA, DISITU ADA KERIBUTAN" hahahaha...Damn! I miss them soo bad!!!
--------intermezzo masa2 SMA : mode memory off---------------

Sekarang gw susah menghina orang(dalam arti kata becanda loh), abizz kalo gw dengerin cerita orang2 disini, banyak yang emosian, pada sensi... trus cowonya juga ga segila tmen2 gw dulu...

Mudah2an di PSMUT gw betah yakz, walaupun agak bingung juga gw, soalnya setelah setahun lebih tombol "bercanda lepas"nya kekunci mulu, jadinya kalo senior2 becanda, gw hanya bisa terpaku dan terdiam sambil ketawa ga jelas sendiri. karna mode "sok kenal", "sok tau", "ga tau malu", "balasan cepat" dan "penghinaan lebih lanjut" gw telah hilang.. huahahaha, perlu adaptasi untuk mengembalikannya..huhuhuuhuhu...

Kayaknya lama deh, Ayo berusaha!!!hahahaha...

--------------MODe kangen on----------------------------------
I know I have said this things alot in this blog, BUT I just want to let You know that I MISS YA ALL SO MUCH..! NOTHING in this world will replace you guys! you're the most craziest and funniest friends I ever have! Love you guys!
--------------Mode kangen off---------------------------------

How do I live...

When I heard this song, I remember something. The memories that makes me feel sad, happy, greatfull an thankfull in one time.sometimes makes me cry. At that time, I sang this song for just some jokes, because I don't understand what its lyrics means, I just sang it for someone who I really care, love and change me to be a better person.

[i]How do I,
Get through the night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
Oh, I
I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
You're my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,[/i]

I don't realize, at that time, that he means everything to me. I love him so much. Even I always fight with him. hmm.. he always be my best friend, he's so funny. he is the only one that understand me, at least try to understand me. but I don't notice that, because I really suck and evil kid!

And tell me now
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

Without you,
There'd be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There'd be no world left for me.
And I,
Baby I don't know what I would do,
I'd be lost if I lost you,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,

without you, mhhh... until now, I don't konw why you must through all this stuff. why bad things happen in a good person. why? he's smart, kind, funny, he's like an angel. it better me than him. I'm an evil kid. that's true! it's not only in my mind! everybody thought that.

[i]Please tell me baby,
How do I go on?

If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything,
I need you with me,
Baby don't you know that you're everything,
Real in my life?

And tell me now,
How do I live without you,
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

How do I live without you?

How do I live without you baby?

I even didn't cry when you left me. I don't believe it happened. it just a dreams, a verry awfull dream. but it also the most beautiful 6 months with you. I got closer with you, and I realize that it's not good to be a bad girl, he teached me alot about life. about how I can love something, how I express it and it's important to show that.

But the most regret that I ever had is I never told him that I love him, i care about him, and most of all he's my angel. I just think it was enough to makes him laugh, happy, play with him all day, and give him his favorite toys in the rest of his life. I wish he knows that I already change,proud to be my brother. I wish he smile at me from heaven and happy at there. I Love YoU.



Now I go on, after I found another song from another gift kid, he left me too, left all people who makes him an inspiration , included me, Mattie JT Stepanek :

It happened anyway
(billy Gilman)

When jamie died
I didn't understand
The eternity of my sadness
I wish I could have prevented it

Whe I rest in bed
Dream about how I could have
Lived and play with my brother
How I wish that I could have saved him

If wishing could bring him back
He'd be here with me today
But than I remember....
It happened anyway

Whe I look at pictures
And imagine what he would be like
Now a dozen years old
I wish I could have saved him from agelessness

If crying could bring him back
He'd be here with me today
But the I remember...
It happened anyway

When I think of why and how
He was with us and he left us
I wish I could have prevented it
And stopped his death, and saved him from
Never needing breath for birthday candles...
For birthday candles

If Wishing could bring him back
He'd be here with me today
But then I remember

When Jamie died I didn't understand
Oh, but then I remember
It happened anyway
It happened anyway