How do I live...

When I heard this song, I remember something. The memories that makes me feel sad, happy, greatfull an thankfull in one time.sometimes makes me cry. At that time, I sang this song for just some jokes, because I don't understand what its lyrics means, I just sang it for someone who I really care, love and change me to be a better person.

[i]How do I,
Get through the night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
Oh, I
I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
You're my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,[/i]

I don't realize, at that time, that he means everything to me. I love him so much. Even I always fight with him. hmm.. he always be my best friend, he's so funny. he is the only one that understand me, at least try to understand me. but I don't notice that, because I really suck and evil kid!

And tell me now
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

Without you,
There'd be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There'd be no world left for me.
And I,
Baby I don't know what I would do,
I'd be lost if I lost you,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,

without you, mhhh... until now, I don't konw why you must through all this stuff. why bad things happen in a good person. why? he's smart, kind, funny, he's like an angel. it better me than him. I'm an evil kid. that's true! it's not only in my mind! everybody thought that.

[i]Please tell me baby,
How do I go on?

If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything,
I need you with me,
Baby don't you know that you're everything,
Real in my life?

And tell me now,
How do I live without you,
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

How do I live without you?

How do I live without you baby?

I even didn't cry when you left me. I don't believe it happened. it just a dreams, a verry awfull dream. but it also the most beautiful 6 months with you. I got closer with you, and I realize that it's not good to be a bad girl, he teached me alot about life. about how I can love something, how I express it and it's important to show that.

But the most regret that I ever had is I never told him that I love him, i care about him, and most of all he's my angel. I just think it was enough to makes him laugh, happy, play with him all day, and give him his favorite toys in the rest of his life. I wish he knows that I already change,proud to be my brother. I wish he smile at me from heaven and happy at there. I Love YoU.



Now I go on, after I found another song from another gift kid, he left me too, left all people who makes him an inspiration , included me, Mattie JT Stepanek :

It happened anyway
(billy Gilman)

When jamie died
I didn't understand
The eternity of my sadness
I wish I could have prevented it

Whe I rest in bed
Dream about how I could have
Lived and play with my brother
How I wish that I could have saved him

If wishing could bring him back
He'd be here with me today
But than I remember....
It happened anyway

Whe I look at pictures
And imagine what he would be like
Now a dozen years old
I wish I could have saved him from agelessness

If crying could bring him back
He'd be here with me today
But the I remember...
It happened anyway

When I think of why and how
He was with us and he left us
I wish I could have prevented it
And stopped his death, and saved him from
Never needing breath for birthday candles...
For birthday candles

If Wishing could bring him back
He'd be here with me today
But then I remember

When Jamie died I didn't understand
Oh, but then I remember
It happened anyway
It happened anyway