20 December....

yeah, that date which is 3 days ago, was my birthday. Well, I'm 19 now! hmm, 19 is a big number, right??..lol

In this age, I realize something that people said , " Life is not Immortal" is right. All things in this world is just temporary. you don't agree with me, do you?? well, let me give you a little example and explain what I thought...

first, you go to kindergarden(sp??) or elementry school. In there you'll meet some friends, teacher, playground, etc. At that moment you think that's your life, those are your friends, You like playing and hang out with them, but when the graduation comes, you promise to them even just in your heart, that you'll never forget them.

But what happen when you're in junior high?? you find another friends, you change your personality, and ofcourse you're not playing swing or barbies or anything that you do when you are younger. even you find love there. But the point is everything is different and you somehow enjoy it. and said "it is the best part in my life".

Then you move on to the high school, different circumtances, different friends, different in everything, but the pattern is same.

When you meet your old friend who you don't see in forever, you will feel weird. hmm.. You don't?? well I do. I don't act like the old nurieen, and does he/she. We change even in the old days we always punch each other and laugh together, we are so close. But everything change, those moment just temporary.

What I'm saying is I belive LIfe is just a repetation. You're born,become toddler, child, teenager, adult, married, having kid or not, elder, than die. Every step in life is same.Basicly They have the same pattern.It's just like a reff. of life endless song.

So, why I must try so hard in life if in the end I'll die???What's forever for?? well, there's some typical answer for it, but who cares? God must know it. He has a plan, and I don't need to know what it is.

All I have to do is trying my best for this life. Because it's not for my parents, friends or anyone else, it just for me. When I'm trully happy doing things and don't bother anyone, why I must not to do it???why I must have a wonderful life, brigther future. For what? it's for me. I want it.

I always try as far as I can to be greatfull in my life. Thanks for what I already have. Because what I have at the momment just temporary. My familly, my friends, and other stuff will suddenly gone. Sooner or later.Even when I agree or not, everything will change. and before it change, I hope I have an amazing memories in every single step of my life. I will try so hard to be happy and makes people around me happy, to use my time as much as I can to be usefull for me and others, because I know I'll have a wonderfull story in the future.

I always believe there will be another life after I die, and it's accepted in my brain, it's logic.

"Dream Big, because you NEVER know what might happen" - Billy Gilman-